One of my favorite questions we got for our Q & A series was, "What does the Bible say about dating?"  One of the biggest decisions any of us will ever make is the decision about who (and if) we will marry.  Since I answered this a couple years ago in another Q & A series, I thought I'd share 10 questions that I'd encourage people to ask of anyone they are considering dating:

Ten Questions to Ask someone you might date:

1. Can they describe a time when they received Jesus Christ?
There's a big difference between, "yeah I believe in God"...and..."I became a follower of Jesus Christ in 1995."

2. If put on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict them?
They might say they believe in Jesus, but do their actions prove it?  Titus 1:16 says, "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him."  What do their actions say about what they believe?

3. Can you tell that the Holy Spirit is active in their life?
The best way to tell is to look for what Paul calls "the fruits of the Spirit". Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control.

4. Who do they spend their time with?
They might seem great, but scripture says that "bad company corrupts good character."  Notice that it doesn't say, "good character purifies bad character."  If their character is shady you ain't gonna change it...the Bible is clear it's the other way around.

5. What do they choose to put into their mind?
It's been said before, but you put garbage in, you get garbage out.  What do they read?  What do they watch?  What do they look at?  What do they talk about?

6. Do they take responsibility for their actions, and avoid blaming others?
When they get into a disagreement are they quick to see their part in the conflict, or do they blame the other party.  Don't just look for how they act towards you, but also how they act towards other: family, co-workers, or employers. 

7. Are they teachable, or full of pride?
Micah 6:8 challenges us to be people of humility.  Do they talk about themselves or do they build up other people?

8. How do they manage their finances?
Do they live within their means, or are they constantly bouncing checks and going in debt?  Do they give generously to others?  Do they tithe?  If they are not honoring God as a single person they will not do it as a married person.

9. How do they treat people who are weaker than themselves?
Do they extend help to people in need who are incapable of doing anything to reciprocate, or are they looking to only help people who can do something for them in return?

10. Are they willing to postpone immediate gratification for greater gratification in the future?
Do they respect you sexually, or do they pressure you to ignore biblical direction on how to manage sexuality?  If they can't keep it in their pants now, it could be a real problem in the future too.

So how about you?  What advice would you give to someone who was thinking about starting to date someone?  What good advice have you been given?

edit post


4 Response to 'What does the Bible say about dating?'

  1. Anonymous'> 19:48

    i tink this is a great way to describe how the bible describes dating, but got a question for future refrences what do you do if your boyfriend is none of these things he is so totaly non-christian.


  2. Dale'> 21:00

    Good question. If you are a Christian dating a non-Christian the Bible is clear that you should end the relationship. If you are not a Christian, I'd say the same principles apply, but I'd encourage you to begin investigating faith together.


  3. Anonymous'> 11:54

    Um... where does it talk about modern dating in the Bible? Modern dating was in fact never practiced in biblical times, things were much different. Today's dating is more like "try them out, if he/she is good, go with it, but if it doesn't work drop them and move on". Im writing a paper on what my beliefs of the bible says about dating and i need a little help.


  4. Dale'> 14:05

    Anonymous - I'd suggest that while the Bible doesn't refer to dating as we view it today, it does give us guidance about who we ought to marry. For example: God directs us to our spouse, and it's less about what we want and more about what God wants. Adam & Eve, and Isaac & Rebecka are good examples. The Song of Songs is another good place to look, because while some suggest this couple is married...most modern scholars doubt this to be true.


Post a Comment